Journal

It Takes So Little

Just a few hours ago, I was happy crying.

I saw my chiropractor today. Because I was taking a day of PTO (mental health days are a real thing), and because I didn’t particularly feel like dressing up, I didn’t have my wig or any makeup on. I guess to anyone paying attention, I was in “boy mode.”

I don’t really have that setting. I’m always in girl mode. All the time. How I look doesn’t mean shit.

But that’s not the point. The point is, I wasn’t … ahem … “presenting as female.” So I went to see the chiro. (And to get a massage, because my chiropractor has massage therapists in his office, and they’re both good and inexpensive. And it’s been one helluva week. I needed to relax.)

Now, I told my chiropractor a couple of months ago that I’m trans. He was very kind about it. He didn’t say anything affirming, per se, but he was definitely accepting. Given that he always has Christian music playing in his office, it was more than I’d hoped for.

Ain’t it nice when life surprises you?

Today, I told him I’ll likely look different next time I see him. I’ll probably have hair and makeup and, if the past week has taught me anything, I’ve learned that it’s probably better to give people advanced notice before you suddenly look different. Otherwise, even well-intentioned people react … poorly.

(That’s code for “they lose their shit and say and do awkward things that run the gamut from literally pretending you don’t exist to spewing irrational fears about how your new look might negatively affect them.”)

And because he’s a medical pro who would otherwise maintain confidentiality, I specifically told him it was okay to tell his staff.

It seems he took that to heart, because only about an hour after I left his office one of the girls who works the front desk tracked me down on Facebook and messaged me. I usually visit with the front desk staff on my way in and out. They’re delightful to a person. We talk about horror movies and other nonsense, and it’s always one of the highlights of the visit for me.

So one of them tracked me down. She sent a very sweet message just telling me she thinks it’s great that I’m being myself. She said she appreciates that I shared the info with her, and she appreciates me. She also said she supports me fully.

Look. This isn’t someone I know well, but this is someone I see on a regular basis. And reading her message, I started crying. She didn’t have to do that. But it was super sweet that she did. It meant the world to me simply because it was so incredible nice.

As shitty as some parts of the process of coming out have been, good people keep reminding me how wonderful human beings can be.

That’s pretty cool.

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