I’m not even going to reference the months without a post. Except for this one teeny paragraph. Just this, then no more.
Status update, bitches. (I can say that, right? You’re not gonna get all squeamish about the b-word, are you?)
The situation is changing. More and more people at the new job know about my gender identity. I’m starting to mildly/playfully change my look. For example, my nails are painted black—like my soul. And I’m prepping for some even bigger shifts.
But I’m not ready to openly share that. Not yet. Patience, people. Patience.
I continue to seek out community, but I think my way of approaching that for now will be to look for people I can be myself around. I hope some of those people are also trans. It’s nice to have that connection. They get it. But I don’t think it has to be that way, and I don’t even think it should.
People are people. That’s how I want people to see me. That’s how I should see them.
I mean, we’re all so clique-y. And I’m like, “WHY?!” You don’t have to be trans to be my friend. You don’t have to understand all the complications of dysmorphia or hormones or gender roles. You just have to be nice, sincere, accepting and supportive.
And I’ll be the same for you.
We’re all dealing with something. I’m onto you. You’re hiding some shit. Everyone is. And I want you to know it’s okay. Really.
Pretend you’re normal while you’re ordering your caramel macchiato at Starbucks. But when you’re here, be real.
Personally, I want to be real everywhere. I’m starting here because, well, LIFE. But as soon as I’m able, I plan to be me all over the fucking place. And, yeah, that’ll scare some folks off. It’ll drum up a little judgment, too.
Fuck it. Life’s too short.
Somewhere in the chaos of all that, it’ll also lead me to people who appreciate me for me and who accept me as I am. And that’s what I want. That and coffee. Why did I have to mention Starbucks?!
Oh, and makeup, and kittens, and cute/gothy things, and maybe a little more money in the ol’ bank account. If anyone’s keeping score.
But I’m trying to learn to focus on what I have, not what I don’t. Positivity and shit. Anyway.
I hope you’re well, my two readers, and I’ll try to pop up here more often. Blah, blah, blah.