“We expect the world to ignore us. We cannot ignore one another.”
That’s a line from an email I just sent. I’ll explain.
A few months ago, I met a trans woman who is several steps ahead of my in embracing her true nature. She seemed to have her shit together, and I was pumped about the idea of talking to someone who would get me.
We emailed a couple of times, and then the conversation just died. She said she’d get back to me, even sent one message apologizing for the delay, and that was it.
I’m trying to NOT chase people down when they just ditch me. I have a history of that. It’s this whole … thing … and I don’t want to do it any more. So when she didn’t write again, I let it go.
Sort of.
But it pissed me off. She’s trans. She knows I feel alone and scared right now. Why the hell would she just leave me hanging?!
And yeah, I know it probably wasn’t about me. Life is chaotic. She got busy. Had her own shit to deal with. I know, I know. But it still hurt.
The email I pounded out a little earlier isn’t scathing or mean. It’s actually pretty vulnerable. I just told her, “Look, you really hurt my feelings.”
And I asked her to please not do that to others.
We trans people are already scared of judgment and rejection. We’re marginalized. That’s a huge part of why I’m still mostly in the closet. The one thing we have to avoid at all costs is marginalizing each other.
We expect the world to ignore us. We cannot ignore one another.
I’m hardly the first LGBTQ person to point out the incredible irony of LGBTQ people failing to validate or support other LGBTQ people.
But you know what? As long as that shit keeps happening, I’m going to be a broken record.
We expect the world to ignore us. We cannot ignore one another.
I’m not saying you have to affirm the values or decisions of every LGBTQ person you come across. I’m not even saying you have to make time for everyone. No one can do that.
But we need to be empathetic to each other. We need to be an open, supportive community that affirms. We need to look out for each other.
We expect the world to ignore us. We cannot ignore one another.
And that’s not just true for LGBTQ people. That’s a human race thing. We’re all on this rock, spinning around a bigger, meltier rock that’s on fire. We all need support and validation. No one wants to go at their shit alone.
It’s scary.
We expect the world to ignore us. We cannot ignore one another.
So when you come across someone whose pain you understand, someone you can empathize with, don’t ditch ’em. Take a bit of time and be the support we all need now and again.
Everyone feels like an outcast sometimes. But no one should.
We expect the world to ignore us.
We. Cannot. Ignore. One. Another.